I finally got around to getting good pictures of a couple of my pieces. I'm really tired so I think I'll just post them!

Elizabeth, 2009, 48x40in, Acrylic on Canvas

Childhood, 2009, 70x60in, pen and ink

(This drawing is actually taller than I am!)

Detail of Childhood

Bad Days

I've had a lot of them lately.

I'm sitting in my art history class looking at these amazing paintings by Chuck Close, who is one of my favorite artists, and I can't concentrate. I decided to post a blog and maybe I can vent a little.

I've been having major problems with money and paying bills and things like that, which I think a lot of people are struggling with right now. Its frustrating because the job I have doesn't allow me to work very many hours and I can't find another job to balance things out with. Its something that I've been stressing over for a couple months now and I think it is literally making me physically sick. Every bone in my body aches, I've been getting headaches and everything just seems out of wack with me. I think it weighs a lot on Tohny's mind too.

When things couldn't get any worse, they did. We got Edgar, our dog, knowing that we weren't supposed to have dogs in our apartment. But, we only had a few months left there and we were getting a new place that allows dogs. So, we tried to hide him. But then, I got an e-mail from my land lord saying some one told her about us having a dog. So, I told her the truth and she told me to get rid of the dog. Edgar is now living with my parents until we move out of this apartment and in to the new one. Everything about this situation is breaking my heart. I got home yesterday after leaving Edgar with my parents and nothing seemed right. I miss him, he's like my baby.

All of this has been accompanied by generally bad days and I just want out of it. I'm trying to keep positive and tell myself that God never gives us more than we can handle. And I know He doesn't, I have faith in that. But, right now it just feels like I'm drowning and I can't get my head above the water.

I had a thought a while ago when I was thinking about how I get images out of marks that I make. How these little lines or brush strokes make up something bigger and how I know how to exactly place them. And it occurred to me:

There is nothing special about the marks I make with a pencil or a brush. It is only by the grace of God that anything good comes out of them.

Kayla Sheeley, Elizabeth, 48''x40''. 2009

*Sorry about the crappy image. Its the only one I have of this piece and it happens to be on a cell phone. :S